Twenty Years Later - Never Forget

 It is hard to believe it is twenty years after one of the most horrific days in history.  9/11 is a day I will never forget.  For so many reasons, it will be a day that most of our general consciousness will recall with reverence.  The confusion.  The concern.  The lack of information.  The lack of communication.  The lack of leadership in certain venues.  The sadness.  The relief.  The guilt of feeling relief.  All of these powerful emotions are felt as strongly now, as they were then.  

I remember rushing home to hold the boys.  I walked Coco.  I shielded Caz from the news on TV.  I slowly accounted for family, friends, friends of friends, loved ones, and casual acquaintances.  The next few days, the next few weeks were filled with so much uncertainty,

It is astounding the list of casualties is still growing.  All of those brave first responders are paying the price for their heroics, even now.  At the time, they seemingly did not give a thought to what may happen down the road.  They didn't hesitate.  They ran head first into danger.  For them.  For those we lost.  For their families.  We continue to remember.  We continue to honor them.  

Friday the 13th - Boys Week Update

 We seem to have weathered the worst of the storm.  Coco and I both tested negative.  Demi tested negative in MA.  Caz is just bed sore from being restricted in his movement.  The farthest he has traveled is next to his room, to the bathroom.  He didn't really seem to mind but I am sure he was going stir crazy.

Finally, I had been able to grocery shop.  I stocked up the supplies as best I could.  i consulted Caz about what he might need after I left to return to MA.  

I got to spend a lot of quality time with Coco.  Some one on one time, is always appreciated.  Coco was good about it too.  He was willing and got into the spirit of Father/Son bonding time.  Yes, we spent quite a bit of it watching movies or general TV.  However, we had a lot of healthy dialogue too.  We reminisced over highlights and tributes centered on Bobby Bowden.  Coco is an avid student of history in general, but particularly sports history.  We discussed current events.  And we watched some quality entertainment.  I furthered his important (pop) cultural literacy by watching Midnight Run.  What a classic movie.  

We all made the best of the circumstances.  And we realized how lucky we are.  We are still more fortunate that a lot of people during these times.  It is not lost on any of us.

Boys Week in CHS - POSTPONED

 Today was supposed to be Day One of boys week in Charleston.  It was over before it began.  I was just logging into work, when Caz came down to the kitchen.  I thought he was up earlier than normal.  He said he didn't feel great and his ear hurt.  Being prone to ear infections, he decided, on his own, to go to Urgent Care to be checked out.

About an hour and a half after Caz left, he called.  He called from the parking lot.  He tested negative for strep. His ear didn't appear infected.  The other shoe dropped.  He tested positive for COVID.

That information took a moment to process in my brain.  That process felt longer, than it lasted.  Caz is smart.  He called from the parking lot on purpose.  We made a plan.  I clean and disinfected the house.  He came in wearing a mask.  He went to a dedicated bedroom.  I had created a dedicated bathroom for him.  I informed Coco what was going on.  We all hunkered down for the long haul of isolation and quarrantine.

MLB Draft 2021

 Usually, there is no real hype associated with the baseball draft.  Typically, I would wait until the Sox made their picks and read the reviews in the days following.  This year, that has changed.  Coco is really into baseball this year, including the draft.  Demi is into the draft too.  Her cousin's son is a legit MLB prospect, coming out of high school.  He is the number one prospect in NY (I know, I know, but bear with me).  Her cousin is very excited, naturally.  He is really good.  He is level headed with realistic expectations.  He is proud of his son and is enjoying his son's success.  Good for him.  He should.

It is funny to listen to Demi get into the draft.  She is very happy for her cousins.  It is exciting just to be close to it.  I still can't tell you how the draft operates and all the strategy involved.  But this kid gets to decide between pro baseball and college.  He was offered a scholarship at a top tier college program.  Those are good choices to have.  Can't wait to see how it all pans out.

Back to Auburn 2020

The family break up started.  Well, not break up.  But the boys are starting to return to college.  Winter break is over.  The conglomeration of the nuclear family is disbanding.  It was a nice run.  The boys got to recharge their batteries.  We didn't ask a lot from them.  They did help a bit with a couple of big jobs at the new house.  That was very helpful.  They did it with no fanfare or bellyaching.  Demi and I got to have quality time with our sons, together, all in one place. 
     Caz is the first one due back to school.  Auburn starts about 5 days earlier than USC.  It doesn't seem fair, to Demi and me, since Caz was last one home.  We get it.  Caz wanted to spend some time with his girlfriend before coming home.  I remember being that age, and forming relationships.  The boys might not think I remember.  But I certainly do.
     Caz was great this morning.  He got up early.  About 7 hours earlier than he had been waking up during break.  We drove the the T parking lot and got there without traffic.  The Red Line actually ran as it should for a change.  I walked Caz over to the Silver Line at South Station.  A very nice young woman kindly pointed out the correct SL line for Caz to get on for Logan Airport.  It all worked very smoothly.  Caz took it all in stride.  He is really becoming quite a pro at traveling.  Our young man is becoming very worldly.

Move-In Day 2019

It's go time!  Move-In Day (2 of 2) for the University of South Carolina.  It would have really been nice to have the first move-in day.  At least Coco drew the first time-slot of the day.  "First one to the park.....first one to leave."
     Overall, I would say it was a good move-in experience.  It is still organized chaos though.  The volun-tolds were there.  There was not a clear leader.  They didn't seem to have been give clear and consistent instructions.  Coco's dorm was not cart friendly.  Good news is that we were provided a cart and two volunteers to help move.  Bad news is the cart was a cardboard box on an unattached set of wheels.  On uneven ground, that cart design is poor. 
     The RM was extremely nice and very helpful.  Bonus points = he is a Red Sox fan.  Coco even got his bed elevated while we were there.  UofSC didn't want students or parents messing with the bed frames.  I wish Auburn had felt that way.  Coco had his priorities.  Get the smart TV up and running, then XBOX One.  I will say, Demi did far less nesting than she did in Caz's room.  That meant we were able to make our third Target run a lot earlier. 
     Coco was anxious.  But all in all, I think he held it together.  He was nervous about this book order.  We all walked to the bookstore.  I will say, it wasn't clear where to go or what to present.  Coco got it done in the end.  He could have done it alone but hey, he felt better with us there.  A target to vent on, but what are parents for? 
     Best news of the day?  When we went to pick up Coco for dinner, he texted that he would be a bit late.  He was at the Strom Thurmond Health & Fitness Center, playing basketball with his roommate and with some new friends.  That's right.  He was out of his room.  And he was meeting new people.  I can't tell you how relieved Demi and I were.  We knew our boy would be ok.

Let’s Talk About S@x, Baby

Another son going off to college.  The same rules apply.  While packing up Coco and ordering supplies to Target in Columbia, it is an opportune time for The Talk.  It’s not the first time.  It won’t be the last time.  Demi and I are straight forward.  We don’t want to be grandparents yet.  Coco, you’re going to college.  Wrap it up.
     We have had discussions about STDs (or STIs I believe they are calling them these days).  He knows Demi is going to send him to college with a box of condoms.  While packing clothes in his room, Demi finds a condom.  “Is this the brand you want?”
     Silence.
     “What size?”
     At first, more silence.  Then, “Extra large.”, with a smile and a chuckle.
     Without missing a beat, “You know it doesn’t do any good if it’s too loose and falls off, right?”
     The smile fades and Coco exits the room.
     “So what size?”, as she follows him.
     Coco can’t get away fast enough.

DHS Prom 2019

Another year, another Prom equals another success.  I really enjoyed being on the fringe, observing Coco having a ball.  For a parent, this year's prom excelled past anything I could have hoped for.
     Coco and Demi prepped upstairs.  Coco even submitted to a test run with his hair around noon.  They mapped out a shower and dressing strategy, starting at 2:30 pm.  I got a kick out of watching them execute it.  Coco still had a wet head of hear, with most of his tuxedo on when I walked past to see Demi tucking him all in.  I am pretty sure I made a Lannister Game of Thrones reference.
     Coco finished earlier than expected.  I watched him pace around nervously before his date and his friends showed up.  The photo shoot entertained me immensely.  The pinning of the boutonnieres is like an Olympic sport.  So many traditional skills are becoming lost.  Tying a tie, folding a pocket square and pinning boutonnieres are almost a lost art.  Coco's date, Melissandre, smiled the entire time.  She possesses one of those energetic personalities, which really comes alive when a camera is around.  That's not a bad thing.  You need someone to be excited about pictures with teenagers.  She got the rest of them to loosen up and smile for all the parents taking pictures.  The parents appreciated having one spot for pictures.  Melissandre's dads were please with Coco as her date.  He is a good young man, who treats women with respect.
     Following the Zoolander photo shoot at the house, we all raced for the red carpet at the High School.  Very well attended, parking became a premium.  I dropped off Demi with the camera, so that I could find a parking space.  As it was, I barely made it in time to see Coco and Melissandre get out of their ride and walk the red carpet.  It is a great Duxbury tradition now.  A lot of folks turn out to see the kids all dolled up.  The rides are part of the attraction too.  I can't tell you how many boats bore prom goers to the carpet.  Old classic cars, Mom and Dad's luxury vehicles and even a float were in the procession.  Volunteer parents valet these things.  The kids walk the carpet, then enter the High School to a snacks and hors d'oeuvres before boarding the buses to Gillette.  How cool is that venue?
     After the Post-Prom plans were up in the air right up until the bus ride home.  Melissandre had a mandatory skating practice the next morning, so she went home.  Her friend was in the same bind, so Coco's buddy ended up going home after too.  Coco ended up going across the street at 2 am to hang with his friends.  I am so happy he did that.  This is their final run.  Their senior year, their high school careers, are coming to an end.  They have so little precious time together.  I am happy he took advantage of it.

An Overnight

Amazing night for Demi and me.  Wine dinner.  Cottage overlooking the beach.  Good friends.  Great conversations.  We had quite a night.  How it unfolded telling Coco?  The is the best story.
    Demi started getting a “feeling”, so she didn’t want to give Coco notice up front.  She worked out an elaborate plan to divulge information on a timely, need to know basis.  There was no sign of us packing beforehand.  We left dinner and gas money on the counter, after he left for school.  When Coco got home from school, he was told we were out for dinner and there was money for his dinner.  A little later on, he actually asked what time we would be home.  That is when Demi told him we were staying over.  Turns out he spent the night on XBOX and eating pizza.  So just like any other night.  But the risk was mitigated.  No shenanigans went on.

New Year’s Day 2019

Happy New Years!

     What a stress free New Year’s Eve last night.  Both of the boys stayed home.  Demi and I were the ones that went out.  Not that we went buck wild.  But we stayed in Duxbury, with 6 other adults.  There were 5 little kids too, so the rowdiness factor was low for the adults.  It was so nice for Demi and me not to have to watch little kids or fret about our older children being out driving on a high risk night. Good times!

July 4th 2018

Happy Independence Day, folks!  It is another day where Demi and I have an annual talk with the boys.  We tell them we want to know their plans, where they plan to be, and when they plan to be home (or to sleepover).  We tell them that we worry about other people.  It is a time of year where there tends to be a spike in impaired driving and poor decision making.  Caz got a taste of it one year when he was stopped by police three times in one night.  We tell them we love them and we want them to be safe.  Simple.
     I think they understand it too.  Of course Caz has to work for 9 hours of the holiday.  It means time and half though.  He went out after work.  But he let me know when he would be home.  Well after a little prompting anyway.
     Have a happy and a safe 4th of July.  Hope you are spending it with loved ones and enjoying your time together.

Cooking Lessons

Caz got up and announced he was making a grocery run to get fixings for French Toast.  Demi asked him if he knew what he needed.  He really didn’t.  He knew the staples but wasn’t confident he had it all.
     Upon return, he pulled out a pan and asked if he could use it.  He then proceeded to ask how to cook the French toast.  Demi got up a hair before me.  However, when I went to freshen up my coffee, there was a battle about to rage over cooking bacon.  Caz loves bacon.  He loves the eating of the bacon, but the cooking of the bacon, not so much.  He is afraid of the splatter.  Demi was overseeing but thing were getting contentious.  The kid needs to learning.  Learning can be painful....

Charleston

What a great Anniversary trip!  Demi and I went to Charleston, SC for four days.  The weather got better every day.  Sure, there were some warm days back home.  But it was cold and snowing too.
     This was a big deal for Coco too.  He would be staying home alone.  He was responsible for Gizmo.  Fresh food and water for Gizmo.  Walking Gizmo.  Multiple trips outside for Gizmo to take car of business.  Not leaving food out where she could get at it.  Then he has to take care of himself.  He is like a plant, minus the direct sunlight.  But no one would be around to cook.  No one would be around to clean. He was instructed to empty the dishwasher, then get all his dirty wares in it. He was instructed to clean his room, the basement and the den,under penalty of lost video time.  He did it.  He waited until the last minute but he did it.
    The also worked and spent Easter Sunday with his grandparents, cousins, aunt and uncle.
     Demi and I got to tour a historic city.  We took a carriage tour.  We got a private car and walking tour.  We took the ferry to Fort Sumter.  What great sites!  The start of the American Civil War.  The architecture is amazing.
     The food and drink were fantastic too.  Good thing it is was walking city.  We walked 9.5 miles one day.  Really excellent and unique restaurants.  We went to one owned by Bill Murray.  Tons of seafood was featured.  We had great BBQ.  Husk Mixed up tremendous cocktails.  The local craft brewery was on point.  Truly an awesome vacation.

Storm Season 2018

The first major storm of the season hit today.  What is odd is that there is no snow.  The storm has hurricane force winds and a lot of rain.  If it was cold, we we would be buried in snow.   The lunar cycle is not in our town's favor.  The tide are exceptionally high, so flooding is inevitable.  The pictures I have seen are unreal.  I have never seen the water so high, in all my years living in this town.  We are talking 4 decades worth of calling Duxbury home. 
     Despite it all, the girls are trying to rally for Demi's birthday.  Two of the out of town guests can't make it.  One was flying.  The next flight would be Monday.  The trip to Cape Cod is canceled.  Now the local girls are just trying to get out to dinner.  Seems like a bad idea, but these grown a** women can make their own decisions.  Little does my sister in-law know but my brother is grabbing his chainsaw, just so she can drive into the neighborhood and come home.  A large tree is blocking their street. 
     Dinner is finally called.  We lost power just around 5 pm.  Demi is still trying to accomplish something, so she went for take out.  She struck out at 4 restaurants, since their power is flickering and no longer doing take out.  She grabbed Wendy's for Coco.  I am glad she is finally home, safe and sound.  We can all settle in for a movie.  The generator is running, so it will have to be a DVD.  Which is just fine.

Overnight Exam

This weekend was a big test for Coco.  He was going to be left alone, overnight, for the first time.  Demi and I had an overnight excursion planned.  We told him last minute, on purpose.  Less time to plot any potential mischief.  We trust him.  We really didn't think he would be up to no good.  But you still have to prepare for the worst. 
     He was on his own for not even 24 hours.  He had to work Sunday, so that cut down the in house time.  We left him some money.  Coco was extremely happy, because now he could finally try out Dominoes.  Hey, whatever floats your boat. 
     Coco fed himself.  He took care of Gizmo.  He played endless hours of video games.  The house did not burn down.  There was no party.  He cleaned up, like he was asked to do.  He cleaned the den, the basement, and his bedroom.  He aced this test as far as Demi and I are concerned.

Mid Terms 2017

Coco had mid-terms all week.  I don't know when he studied for them.  I know he did some.  And I know he needed to crush it in Physics and Math.  He needs to pull up his second term grades in those subjects.  He also has to make up for his under performing freshman year.  Yes, it was related to his illnesses.  But he has the ability to make up ground.  As we know from Caz, junior year is tough.  It is the critical year for the college search.  The grades matter a lot.  Coco needs to exceed.  We don't want to put pressure on him.  It is a fine line trying to raise the bar on him but not invoke the anxiety.  There is no guidebook for this.  Demi and I are doing the best we can.  Every time we get a read on him, things change.  The same held true for Caz's ADD.  I probably feel more pressure than he does.  Which is fine by me.  I would rather shoulder the load, especially if that allows Coco to succeed.

NYE 2017

The most harrowing part of New Years and having teenagers, is worrying about them.  What are their plans?  Will they be driving?  If so, will they be driving late?  Who will they be with?  Fortunately, this year, Coco worked a double shift, so he stayed in.  Caz went out.  He didn’t drive but his buddy did.  A bunch of them played Risk until midnight.  Very low key.  The danger is who else might be on the road and in what condition,when Caz makes the jaunt home.

Drive to School

Today Coco drove to school solo for the first time.  Demi caught it all on video.  Then he drove himself to work.  Banner day today. A great day of firsts for the kid.

License To Drive Part Deux

Another milestone reached by Coco!  He passed his road test and is now a new Masshole driver.  It’s a new measure of independence.  And better yet he can drive himself to and from both work and school.  We all win!
     He is actually a very good driver for his age.  He has a good balance of confidence and caution.  Truth be told he is probably better at his age than his older brother.
     I am very happy for him.  He has accomplished a lot this year.  It’s nice to see his work pay off.

Home Again

Demi and I came back from dropping off Caz.  The house was still standing, and relatively clean.  Same can be said of Coco & Gizmo.  They fared well taking care of the house and each other.  

     Caz ate dinner next door, at my parents one night.  Not a home cooked meal.  Probably better, if I polled Coco.  He is a fan of Papa Gino's.

     The nest surprise was Coco getting a job.  After 3 months in purgatory with Star Market and their "computer glitch ", it took all of three days for Coco to land a gig with Roche.  He was very proud of himself.  As he should be.  It is a big deal.  Demi and I were thrilled.