Facing Your Demons

The last football season has been well documents. So has my stint on the board. This week we had my third Board meeting. To say it was a doozy is a vast understatement. There were fireworks like the Fourth of July. I knew that the meeting had potential to be interesting, as the Board would be voting in coaches. But little did I know the extent of how interesting it was going to get. I was probably more concerned about having to make my own presentation for coaching, that I really didn't appreciate the possible contentions with other coaching positions. I think I figured that it was a forgone conclusion that last years head coach would run unopposed with little discussion.
But to the credit of our new Board President, he wanted to get everything out on the table. And that full disclaimer started with the Mites Super Bowl. You know. The one hat most of the kids did not play. It got termed a black eye for the program and last years head coach was asked to speak to the lack of playing, and running up the score. The curve ball this year was that the guy who actually ran the team, was running as Head Coach, but he was not able to attend the meeting. Last year's HC, actually admitted that he ran up the score, to settle a grudge against the opposing coach. I was a bit stunned by not only the confession but that I didn't really think the score had but run up. But I couldn't believe that he didn't know how many kids were left out of the game. I think he may actually think it was only a few kids, but as HC, you are responsible to know the whole facts. And then he tried to blame the substitutions on an assistant coach. The previous season's HC, that he took the team from. And the guy he knew was leaving DYF to go to Pop Warner next year.
The whole while that this was going on, my friend, Smalls was taking last year's HC to task. It was getting heated. I did try to interject twice, but others were trying at the same time. Trying and doing are different things though. I did feel bad about not speaking out after, when all was said and done. Immediately after, I felt like I had let Smalls down by not coming to his aid. Actually, I agonized over it the rest of the night. I questioned myself. Did I back down? Did I not shout out because I was concerned about offending the high school coach? And that he might take it out on my kids? Just like, in my mind, I had accused other Board members of ? Or did I make my attempts? Did I not want to escalate a bad situation and have it get out of hand?
What I decided was that my silence was not something born out of fear. The President was moderating, and both times I went to speak, was bring the meeting back to order. Also, there was no good in piling on an argument, as the guy actually running for HC was not there. And the President had already made it clear that next year's D5 Pee Wee HC had to come before the Board to answer for the Super Bowl as well. I also got to counter while making my own pitch for HC of next years D5 Mites. I improvised my presentation to subtly (and not so subtly) include some rebuttal or more truthful view. I also let it be known that I had some question for next years 5 Pee Wee HC. He was running unopposed, which was unfortunate. And his minion on the board did his lawyer thing and made a motion to vote the entire slate of coaches in at once, rather than one by one, because he knew there would be debate on his buddy. I was shocked the President seconded the motion. But it was getting late and we were about to get kicked out of the building. I think he just wanted the meeting over.
In the end, I don't think I let myself, the boys or the program down. I think Smalls may still be disappointed in me. I did call him after the meeting to discuss it, and fill him in on what he missed at the conclusion of the meeting. I do tend to take a more measure and planned approach to things, which not everyone may like. They may not expect it of me either, as I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. But it is what works for me. And believe, I planning on speaking at the next meeting.