Happy 21st Coco

Our youngest son, Coco, turns 21 today.  A house full of legal age adult who can imbibe.  That went by in the blink of an eye.  Looking forward to having Coco home next weekend to celebrate in person.  Glad Coco got to be with The Boys for his monumental birthday.  Looks like they had a lot of fun.

Happy Birthday, Son.  We love you. 

Make good decisions :) 

Thanksgiving in Lowcountry

 Our family's first Thanksgiving in South Carolina.  In many ways, it was very different.  In many ways, it was very familiar.  In the end, it was perfect.

It is hard being away from our families, both in MA and NY/NC.  COVID sort of makes that inevitable that the bubble stays small.  We figured we might still be with one or the other families.  However, this is more like Thanksgiving 2019 in Alabama.  The four of us were on our own, so that we could attend the iron bowl.  We knew even back then, that Thanksgiving 2021 would be in South Carolina for the Palmetto Bowl.  We just figured it would have been in COLA.  Back then, we never dreamed we would have a second house, let alone in Charleston.

Demi created another Thanksgiving meal for the ages.  She faced quite a few challenges.  COVID made some food supplies scarce.  Our new location meant some of our staples were not found here.  Stuffing bread is not a thing here.  Jones Sausage is not a thing here.  I got to made a Southern side dish.  I chose sweet potato casserole.  I think it came out really well, if I do say so myself. I also made a rustic apple gallete.  I am pretty proud of how that turned out too.  The chocolate cake from scratch tasted very good.  I really liked the frosting.  However, it did not look aesthetically pleasing.  The family didn't likely notice but of course the chef did.

Demi made her famous sausage stuffing, which was great.  The turkey (which was a tough item to get) was perfect.  She made our SIL's corn pudding.  It would have made St. Louis proud.  We ate like champs.

In the morning, I was able to at least stream the Duxbury/Marshfield football game. It was an excellent game.  We started a family puzzle.  We had a nice walk outside in shorts and t-shirts.  We called our families.  And the four of us spent quality time together.

Friends Reunion (Dragons Style)

 Caz had a really nice run this weekend.  He got to see a lot of his old high school friends.  That designation seems odd to me really.  Some of those guys he has known since before kindergarten.  Whatever they are, they are still good friends.  I am glad he got to see them.  He actually went out right after we got back from the airport on Friday night.  Saturday he got to have a farewell breakfast for Dix, who is off to active duty in CA for more training.  Caz also got to attend a college graduation party for another friend.  Sunday was more of the same.  And all his friends got to congratulate him on his recent graduation.  

War Eagle Graduation

 Happy Graduation Caz!  Most of what I have to write had been said, written in cards, written in letters and written in journals. This milestone is too momentous to let pass here.  I started this blog as something for you and your brother to read in years to come. It was inspired by you two.  Becoming a father is why I starting writing this.  It is what I had wanted.  It wasn't long after I graduated college, that I knew this is what I wanted.  I didn't want a career to speak of.  Work wasn't going to fulfill my heart.  This is what I knew in my heart of hearts, that I wanted.  And it's been more wonderful than I could have ever dreamed.  

I suspect it is different for you.  You knew what you wanted to go to college for.  You knew you wanted to be an engineer.  I feel like you know where your life is headed.  Work will guide your next path.  And that is great.  That's not to say you won't have a family or be a father.  But you feel about your chose field of study, a calling of sorts.  It will be fun for me to watch what comes.  It will be exciting to see what you do with this degree.  The Sam Ginn College of Engineering at Auburn University.  That is impressive.  That should bring all kinds of exciting opportunities for you.  Seize them when the come.  Of course you have don't that since leaving high school, so I am not sure why I feel I need to tell you that.  

Demi and I are so proud of you.  I suspect Coco is too.  He might even tell you that himself.  :)

Graduation Party 2019

Demi pulled off a major feat.  I shouldn't be surprised.  She is the Super Hostess.  She can plan a party like an All-Star.  This graduation party was one for the record books.
     Coco had more input that Caz did for his.  Coco had a vision.  And that vision was The Office.  Coco wanted decorations from episodes of the office.  I had no idea what that entailed.  I should have known standard white paper stock would be in line.  Upside down, brown & yellow balloons were also features.  The food was taco based.  Coco wanted a taco bar.  Apparently, so did all his classmates.  Every party we have gone too, has had guacamole, sour cream, salsa, nachos, hot sauce and taco meats.  Demi cooked all of it for Coco's party.  I thought that was overly aggressive but she pulled it off.  And she did it in advance.  We were gone for the better part of four days for Orientation, leading up to the party.  There were 3 different kinds of corn for Pete's sake.
     There was a great showing of my cousins for this party.  It was nice to see some of them and their kids, who I haven't seen a quite some time.  And really, it was my side of the family that dominated the attendance, which is very abnormal.  I can't say I was happy about that leading up.  Sure, there is going to be a joint party, which includes Coco, in NC in July.  Sure, we are the family that lived out of state.  But we asked the family to be in MA for family events 4 times in twenty odd years, with about that much time span in between half of them.  I didn't think that was too much to ask.  But what do I know?
     The important thing is that Coco was happy.  He and his friends really had a good time.  He let Caz invite quite a few friends too.  Caz and his buddies had fun too.  Coco was able to socialize with adults, entertain his young cousins and children of family friends, and he was able to party with his pals.  They were up late, always a sign of a good time.  They slept late.  And his buddies came back to help pick up.  They really are a good bunch of kids.  Coco was appreciative too.  He hugged and thanked Demi a half dozen times.  He hugged and thanked me.  I think the showering of love humbled him.  What a party!

Dear DHS

Dear DHS,

Graduation is a time for congratulations, for recognition and for giving thanks.  While we are so proud of our son, Kyle Chin, we would like to congratulate and thank all of you as well.  You all provided so much support to us, in so many ways. You may not have even realized that you helped. So we, Kyle’s parents, would like you to know that all of your efforts are appreciated.

Some of you know Kyle’s story well.  Others may not know it at all. We will try to be as brief as we can in recapping it.

Kyle began to experience bouts of pain just after starting middle school.  At first, it seemed we could attribute it to jitters of starting a new school experience.  Over time, the pain got worse and more frequent. He missed large chunks of school. We sought out medical help.  We received multiple diagnoses, which led to various courses of treatment. Nothing seemed to work. He missed more and more school.  Everything seemed to come to a head when Kyle entered DHS. We were fortunate enough to get an appointment with a specialist at Boston Children’s Hospital.  Simply put Kyle is not able to shut off messages of pain going to his brain. He is always and will always, be in some level of pain. That pain manifests in his stomach, and can be intensified by anxiety.  It is a chicken and the egg scenario, as to whether his physical ailments trigger his anxiety or vice versa. We were happy to receive a viable diagnosis and thought we were trending up. But the pain got worse.  Kyle could barely leave the house. He missed months of freshman year. As fortune would have it, in the spring, a spot opened up in a program at Providence Children’s Hospital. At this time, 3 years ago, Kyle was transitioning out of that program and back into DHS.  We were focused only on getting him back to school full time. Graduation was the furthest thing from our minds. Frankly, it didn’t seem likely to happen. College seemed to be a wild dream. Graduating from DHS on time? Improbable.

      Kyle was determined to move on with his class, with his friends.  You all helped make that possible. In the final weeks of that school year, you all worked with Kyle and with us, to help put him in a position to pass.  Sure, his grades weren’t pretty. However, he was back at school full time and he was able to move on to sophomore year. Following that, he worked his way back to honors classes.  He brought his grades up. Then, he was accepted at a few colleges, ultimately choosing to pursue History and Archaeology at the University of South Carolina.

Kyle and we owe a lot to our DHS village.  It took everyone, teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, and staff.  Whenever we contacted DHS, our first greeting was “what can we do to help?” Help came in a multitude of ways. And it came often.  Seemingly little things, like a shared inside joke from Monty Python with a teacher, or a green wristband from a Phys Ed Volleyball Championship, went a long way towards building Kyle back up.  We know your jobs are not easy. Having to tailor plans to accommodate one student, makes that job even more complex. We hope you know we understand and appreciate that. Kyle’s graduation is your achievement too.  Congratulations!

With our deepest gratitude,

Demi and me

Graduation 2019

The big day.  Finally!  Years in the making.  The unfolding was not like most.  Demi and I are so proud of Coco.

Graduation day = a time to recognize achievement, to congratulate, and to say thanks.

At this time 3 years ago, Demi and I didn't know if this was going to be possible.  Coco was just wrapping up the day program at Providence Hasbro Childrens Hospital.  After missing over 100 days of school, he was reintegrating back into DHS.  We were hoping for the best.  Each day we held our breath.  Coco dug in.  He was determined to stay on track to move to sophomore year with his buddies.  By the end of June, the boy who taught himself math by searching out YouTube videos on algebra, was able to do just that.

Look how far you've come!  DHS graduate.  Off to @uofsc in August!  Be proud of yourself son.  We are.

Thank you to his village for their love and support.  DHS was amazing.  Teachers, administrators and guidance counselors made sure he could concentrate on healing and coping, while providing online courses, individual learning plans or even a ride to school.  His incredible friends stuck by him.  You couldn't blame a teenage kid to forget someone out of sight for so long, especially as one dealt with all the challenges of first year of high school.  Not this bunch.  They were always around, always looking to include him and accepting of his limitations.  When he couldn't leave the house, they came to him. What a bunch! 

Thank you to our village - our loved ones, family and friends.  We couldn't have come through the dark times without you.  Everything you did helped.  You might not have even known you were helping, but you did.  A simple "hi", a smile or a hug goes a long way.  This day is yours too.  We love you all.✌️

DHS Prom 2019

Another year, another Prom equals another success.  I really enjoyed being on the fringe, observing Coco having a ball.  For a parent, this year's prom excelled past anything I could have hoped for.
     Coco and Demi prepped upstairs.  Coco even submitted to a test run with his hair around noon.  They mapped out a shower and dressing strategy, starting at 2:30 pm.  I got a kick out of watching them execute it.  Coco still had a wet head of hear, with most of his tuxedo on when I walked past to see Demi tucking him all in.  I am pretty sure I made a Lannister Game of Thrones reference.
     Coco finished earlier than expected.  I watched him pace around nervously before his date and his friends showed up.  The photo shoot entertained me immensely.  The pinning of the boutonnieres is like an Olympic sport.  So many traditional skills are becoming lost.  Tying a tie, folding a pocket square and pinning boutonnieres are almost a lost art.  Coco's date, Melissandre, smiled the entire time.  She possesses one of those energetic personalities, which really comes alive when a camera is around.  That's not a bad thing.  You need someone to be excited about pictures with teenagers.  She got the rest of them to loosen up and smile for all the parents taking pictures.  The parents appreciated having one spot for pictures.  Melissandre's dads were please with Coco as her date.  He is a good young man, who treats women with respect.
     Following the Zoolander photo shoot at the house, we all raced for the red carpet at the High School.  Very well attended, parking became a premium.  I dropped off Demi with the camera, so that I could find a parking space.  As it was, I barely made it in time to see Coco and Melissandre get out of their ride and walk the red carpet.  It is a great Duxbury tradition now.  A lot of folks turn out to see the kids all dolled up.  The rides are part of the attraction too.  I can't tell you how many boats bore prom goers to the carpet.  Old classic cars, Mom and Dad's luxury vehicles and even a float were in the procession.  Volunteer parents valet these things.  The kids walk the carpet, then enter the High School to a snacks and hors d'oeuvres before boarding the buses to Gillette.  How cool is that venue?
     After the Post-Prom plans were up in the air right up until the bus ride home.  Melissandre had a mandatory skating practice the next morning, so she went home.  Her friend was in the same bind, so Coco's buddy ended up going home after too.  Coco ended up going across the street at 2 am to hang with his friends.  I am so happy he did that.  This is their final run.  Their senior year, their high school careers, are coming to an end.  They have so little precious time together.  I am happy he took advantage of it.

Prom Season

It’s Prom week.  The first of two proms again for Coco.  The tux was picked up from the dry cleaners.  Coco tried on the whole monkey suit.  He got his hair cut.  The mode of transportation is  settled.  The schedule for pictures and locations has been nailed down.  It is just a waiting game now. The calm before the storm.

Patriots Parade 2019

Demi texted me yesterday about what I thought about Coco going to the parade with his friends.  He hadn’t said anything to either one of us.  We both thought it was a good idea.  Demi broached it with him after school.  We thought he would go with his crew.  And Coco started planning with them.  In the end, he ended up going with his prom date and her friends.  Interesting twist.

     It didn’t dawn on me until this morning that Coco had never been on the T on his own.  I texted him a bunch of information during my morning commute.  I also urged him to leave earlier than planned.  The crowd was already heavy when I was headed into the city.  I made sure he knew how to get to me in the city too.  He did really well. He called and texted with questions after the parade, when they were trying to get on the T.  He and his friends bought the right ticket.  They got on the right train.  More importantly,  they had fun.  They had an experience that will last a lifetime.

Thanksgiving 2018

It certainly was nice to have the whole family together this year.  This Thanksgiving seemed more traditional.  Family traditions are important.  (I may have mentioned that before:))
     I got up a bit early to go to the gym and to run.  I wanted to get in a workout to offset the gorging to come.  I ran better than I have in months.  That made me very happy.
     I woke the kids up for the Duxbury football game.  Caz was eager to have Angie experience a Duxbury Dragons football game.  She was nervous about the weather.  In fact, we all were.  It was a record day of cold.  We trotted out all the winter gear.  Caz and Angie even wore snow-pants.  The hand-warmers were collected in droves.  I busted out the LLBean Baxter State Parka.  It is the warmest coat they make.  It has pocket for your hands, that go into the down, so I knew my hands would be in great shape.  The wind chill was down to zero.  We all had face shields and sunglasses.  We didn't leave any exposed skin.  At half time, my toes were cold.  I had the smart wool socks and my warm, insulated LLBean rubber shoes.  Those couldn't keep the chill out.  The kids all had blankets but I don't think Coco wrapped his feet.  He was frozen at halftime.
     We met at the warming station, in the Steele building.  I saw the kids head there at halftime.  We had a split vote.  Caz really wanted to stay.  Coco really wanted to go.  Angie put on a good front and voice her desire to say, but I think her head and heart wanted to go.  The Dragons were up 21-0.  They looked like they were rolling.  We eventually decided to cut the game short.  We stopped for breakfast and hot chocolate on the way home.
     Thanksgiving at Lex's was great.  The battle of the turkey's, smoked against baked, was entertaining.  We all ate and ate.  The kids all played in the basement.  We actually had to pull the drinks off the deck before they froze.  We sat by the fire and watched football.  It was a really great get together.  Coco and Caz should have memories from this for all time.  That is all I really want.

Friday Night Lights 2018

It’s father/son night.  Coco and I are going to the Duxbury football game.  It is going to be the first fall night.  It is going to be football weather.  It is also Black Out Night.  The student section is supposed to wear all black.  Coco is in the spirit.  I love when he gets fired up to participate.  He even wanted to use my black Duxbury hat.  And he doesn’t mind riding to the game and being seen walking in with his dad.
     I don’t think Coco had seen Coach Downey in years.  He at least said hi and a few words about college.  We were up on the hill.  The students hadn’t arrived yet, so Coco wanted to hang with us for a bit.  Of course, as soon as some showed up, he took off.  But it was nice for a while.  I hope we get to go to a few more of these.  This is our last chance.  The Coco Senior Year Farewell Tour.