Twenty Years Later - Never Forget

 It is hard to believe it is twenty years after one of the most horrific days in history.  9/11 is a day I will never forget.  For so many reasons, it will be a day that most of our general consciousness will recall with reverence.  The confusion.  The concern.  The lack of information.  The lack of communication.  The lack of leadership in certain venues.  The sadness.  The relief.  The guilt of feeling relief.  All of these powerful emotions are felt as strongly now, as they were then.  

I remember rushing home to hold the boys.  I walked Coco.  I shielded Caz from the news on TV.  I slowly accounted for family, friends, friends of friends, loved ones, and casual acquaintances.  The next few days, the next few weeks were filled with so much uncertainty,

It is astounding the list of casualties is still growing.  All of those brave first responders are paying the price for their heroics, even now.  At the time, they seemingly did not give a thought to what may happen down the road.  They didn't hesitate.  They ran head first into danger.  For them.  For those we lost.  For their families.  We continue to remember.  We continue to honor them.  

Labor Day Weekend 2021

 What a weekend for the Chins.  We were not all together.  But I am happy all the same.  Demi and I got to spend a great day at the beach with family and friends.  The day turned out far sunnier and warmer than predicted.  The kids behaved very well.  There was no drama.  As always, there was no shortage of food or drinks.

What really made me smile?  The boys were together.  Caz drove up to COLA on Friday night.  I gave Caz my tickets to the Gamecocks game.  Primetime kickoff meant the boys had Friday night and all day Sat together.  I remember visiting my brother at college after I graduated.  It helped us bond even more.  I hope it does the same for them.  

Friends Reunion (Dragons Style)

 Caz had a really nice run this weekend.  He got to see a lot of his old high school friends.  That designation seems odd to me really.  Some of those guys he has known since before kindergarten.  Whatever they are, they are still good friends.  I am glad he got to see them.  He actually went out right after we got back from the airport on Friday night.  Saturday he got to have a farewell breakfast for Dix, who is off to active duty in CA for more training.  Caz also got to attend a college graduation party for another friend.  Sunday was more of the same.  And all his friends got to congratulate him on his recent graduation.  

Happy 4th - 2021

 Independence day is certainly different this year.  Actually, it is different in many ways.  It is cold and rainy.  The temperature is the exact same as Christmas was (60 degrees).  COVID restrictions have mostly been retracted.  Folks have two years of 4th spirit to let loose.  

Here, at the beach house, we are not complete.  Caz is in Auburn.  It is for a good reason.  He is finishing his senior project, so he can graduate in August.  It is not the same without having the five of us (the boys always get excited if Gizmo is excluded from the total family headcount) together.  Coco got to spend some quality time with his high school friends.  They hadn't been together in a while.  I am glad they got a chance to see each other.  They are a great bunch of people.  

The tide was high again.  The private fireworks displays all had to launch from behind the beach wall.  It was fun to watch though.  Gizmo is a great dog.  She is not bothered by loud noises at all.  She walked with us, under the cover of night, to the beach wall.  She hung out on the beach wall, while we watched the shows.  No bonfires though.  The ocean would have washed them away before they could have been lit.  Maybe next year.

Sebec 2021

 We are finally able to make it to Sebec Lake with family and friends this year.  It is always great to be with family and friends.  I am really happy that Coco decided to come with us.  He is twenty now.  He is in college.  I was going to say that college kids have different priorities but actually, same priority but they want to be with their friends.  Coco has a good sense of family though.  He knows it is important.  And I think he has fun with this crew and in this location.

I wish Caz was with us.  He will be missed.  Family time is incomplete without either one of the boys.  

Time at this lake is extremely therapeutic. For many years, this camp had very spotty to no cell service and no wifi.  The only TV was an old school tube TV with a VHS hooked up to it.  One could really unplug from life.  I love it.  My wallet only comes our for supply or trash runs.  My phone only comes out for use as a camera.  The days are early.  Sunrise is beautiful, as it comes up from across the lake.  Night are late, spent around the campfire.  The beer fridge in the boathouse is always stocked and is always open.  It's beer o'clock all the time.  Everyone does as they wish.  If you want to socialize, great.  If you want alone time, also great.  We have many memories and can't wait to make more.

Easter 2021

 Great weekend!  Demi got a semblance of her family holiday weekend.  Coco and some of his crew came to visit for the weekend.  It was really nice having them here.  Demi didn't get to host like she likes due to her injured wing.  But she was excited and made the most of it.

Only a couple of weeks removed from shoulder surgery, I didn't even want to offer to cook, knowing Demi would still try to help and would over do it on her shoulder.  I convinced her to order dinner.  After doing some research, she found the jackpot.  Six pounds of pulled pork, double mac & cheese, double tater tots, cornbread and two BBQ sauces.  Not a veggie in site.  Perfect college kid food.

The boys arrived Friday night, right after the Final Four tip-off.  We got pizza and wings.  The game was exciting.  It went right down to the last shot.  It was an sad outcome for the Gamecocks but what a game.

Demi got time with one of her sons.  Coco's friends are fine young gentlemen.  Both our sons continue to surround themselves with good people.  It is so nice to see.  That was the real purpose of the weekend.  Spend time with our son and the people close to him.  

Time Flies During a Pandemic

Wow!  Have I ever been delinquent in posting.  With all this "free time" during this stay at home period, you would think I would have more time than ever to post and to write.  I will have to go back and do some back posting to accurately track quarantine for the official record.  I really do enjoy the extra time with the family.  Sure, they are likely sick of me and of each other.  It's hard not seeing the rest of the family and our friends.  I do get to write here and there.  I might have too many writing projects going on.  Maybe.
     I have the leather bound journal with the imprint of the tree of life on it, which Caz gave me as a gift.  I try to write in that for my sons and their future children.  I have this blog, which a handful of viewers seem to come across occasionally.  And I have the book.  The book has gotten more attention this year.  I made it a New Years goal for 2020, to make real progress with the book.  It is coming along in drips and in drabs.  This blog has taken a hit.
     Tonight, is a great night for writing.  I am on the deck.  It is 9:30 pm.  It is dark.  There are no bugs around me.  Unfortunately, there are no stars.  But I have the string lights overhead, crocheted in the metal trellis.  It is cool, but not cold.  I have the zero gravity chair to myself.  Life is good.  And so...I write.

Last Class 2020

I can't believe today was the last class of 2020 for the boys.  Coco just finished the freshman year regular season.  Caz is wrapping up junior year.  I am about to have a rising sophomore and a rising senior.  In college!  How did that happen?!  Where did the time go?  It didn't end in a usual fashion.  It ended on Zoom.   Life goes on.  The world goes on.  College goes on.  Time stops for no one. 

Draft 2020

The first ever virtual NFL Draft!  It was certainly different.  The NFL had a captive audience.  This was the first live sporting event in months.  Something to get excited about.  Finally.  I joked about watching every single pick for the first time ever.
     Watching the first round was something I hoped would be a family event.  The boys had a vested interest with players from their colleges.  At least one from each was projected going in the first round.  I knew better to wait for the Patriots pick and for them to make it.  I was confident that Bill would trade out of the first round.  Sure enough, he did.  Coco was eager to watch.  Demi was a good sport.  She hung out with us, while Coco and I discussed and watched each pick.  Unfortunately Caz was not looking to engage.  According to Coco, Caz was playing a video game with friends.  Virtually, of course.  The virus hasn't changed that.  The kids have played online with friends for years. 
     Coco bowed out of night two.  So I watched rounds 2 and 3 on an iPad, silently.  Demi and I watched the new Chris Hemsworth movie on Netflix.  That was a win win. Thor for Demi to watch.  Action movie and draft for me to watch.

New Years 2020

This new decade got off to an auspicious start.  Demi and I celebrated at our friends' house, as tradition demands.  The boys stayed in.  They hung out together, which was a nice thing.  They also agreed to pick us up from said friends' house.  Uber Sons worked great.  Demi and I got to cut loose a bit.  They boys got the house and WIFI to themselves for the night.  They cooked pizza and nachos when they go hungry.  It was an all around win.

Happy 2020!  Best wishes for a healthy & happy new year and new decade!

Auburn v Miss St 2019

Boys trip to visit Caz this year.  I talked Rosie into a big time college football game a few months ago.  Later on I had possession of an extra ticket.  So I offered it to Rosie's son and Caz's best friend.  Seemed a great way to get one of Caz's friends from home down to see him.  They weren't going to do it on their own.  I can't blame them.  It's a long way.  They are college kids.  Typically, college kids don't have excess spending money. 
     This was the hottest it has ever been in Auburn, while I have been visiting.  It was 97 degrees and close to 98% humidity.  I was okay day one.  Or at least I think I was.  I felt it.  But we did a lot of walking and I felt fine after.  I hydrated all day.  I though we might lose little Rosie but he hung in there.  It was game day that got me.  After parking the car and walking to Toomer's corner, we walked into the bookstore (J&M).  After a while, I felt dizzy and nauseous.  I got a huge bottle of water right away.  I downed it methodically.  I didn't guzzle it but I put it down with purpose.  We jaunted over to the the stadium and bookstore.  We went to a BBQ place back at Toomer's.  In both place, I felt off.  I didn't drink a drop of alcohol.  I felt so bad, I couldn't eat.  We are inside, so not in direct sunlight.  Before we went into the game, I got a smoothie, just to get something into me.  I kept drinking water. 
     In the 4th quarter, i put on my FitBit.  My pulse was way high.  It was 40 bpm higher than my normal resting heartrate.  I didn't want to be the guy that ignored a warning sign and then had a health problem.  I went to First Aid and started asking questions.  They took my vitals.  The gave me water.  They wanted to give me an EKG but that was in the main facility on the first floor.  I had to walk it (or ride in a wheelchair).  I had to take it slow.  They decided not to do an EKG but monitored my vials.  They gave me more water and granola bar.  At that point, all I could do was walk back to the car with Rosie. 
     We stopped for Rosie to grab a bite.  I thought a shake was a good idea.  I was wrong.  I was up in the middle of the night in intestinal distress.  I had to take the nuclear option of immodium.  I did feel better in the AM though. 
     All in all it really was a good guys weekend.  Auburn won big.  The tailgate was still fun.  Rosie and his son got to see a big time college football game.  Caz got his buddy to visit.  And his buddy was shown some real Southern Hospitality.  Win, win.

Move-In Day 2019

It's go time!  Move-In Day (2 of 2) for the University of South Carolina.  It would have really been nice to have the first move-in day.  At least Coco drew the first time-slot of the day.  "First one to the park.....first one to leave."
     Overall, I would say it was a good move-in experience.  It is still organized chaos though.  The volun-tolds were there.  There was not a clear leader.  They didn't seem to have been give clear and consistent instructions.  Coco's dorm was not cart friendly.  Good news is that we were provided a cart and two volunteers to help move.  Bad news is the cart was a cardboard box on an unattached set of wheels.  On uneven ground, that cart design is poor. 
     The RM was extremely nice and very helpful.  Bonus points = he is a Red Sox fan.  Coco even got his bed elevated while we were there.  UofSC didn't want students or parents messing with the bed frames.  I wish Auburn had felt that way.  Coco had his priorities.  Get the smart TV up and running, then XBOX One.  I will say, Demi did far less nesting than she did in Caz's room.  That meant we were able to make our third Target run a lot earlier. 
     Coco was anxious.  But all in all, I think he held it together.  He was nervous about this book order.  We all walked to the bookstore.  I will say, it wasn't clear where to go or what to present.  Coco got it done in the end.  He could have done it alone but hey, he felt better with us there.  A target to vent on, but what are parents for? 
     Best news of the day?  When we went to pick up Coco for dinner, he texted that he would be a bit late.  He was at the Strom Thurmond Health & Fitness Center, playing basketball with his roommate and with some new friends.  That's right.  He was out of his room.  And he was meeting new people.  I can't tell you how relieved Demi and I were.  We knew our boy would be ok.

Let’s Talk About S@x, Baby

Another son going off to college.  The same rules apply.  While packing up Coco and ordering supplies to Target in Columbia, it is an opportune time for The Talk.  It’s not the first time.  It won’t be the last time.  Demi and I are straight forward.  We don’t want to be grandparents yet.  Coco, you’re going to college.  Wrap it up.
     We have had discussions about STDs (or STIs I believe they are calling them these days).  He knows Demi is going to send him to college with a box of condoms.  While packing clothes in his room, Demi finds a condom.  “Is this the brand you want?”
     Silence.
     “What size?”
     At first, more silence.  Then, “Extra large.”, with a smile and a chuckle.
     Without missing a beat, “You know it doesn’t do any good if it’s too loose and falls off, right?”
     The smile fades and Coco exits the room.
     “So what size?”, as she follows him.
     Coco can’t get away fast enough.

Independence Day 2019

Happy 4th of July USA!
     Thank you to those who serve and to their families!  Land of the free, because of the Brave.

Graduation Party 2019

Demi pulled off a major feat.  I shouldn't be surprised.  She is the Super Hostess.  She can plan a party like an All-Star.  This graduation party was one for the record books.
     Coco had more input that Caz did for his.  Coco had a vision.  And that vision was The Office.  Coco wanted decorations from episodes of the office.  I had no idea what that entailed.  I should have known standard white paper stock would be in line.  Upside down, brown & yellow balloons were also features.  The food was taco based.  Coco wanted a taco bar.  Apparently, so did all his classmates.  Every party we have gone too, has had guacamole, sour cream, salsa, nachos, hot sauce and taco meats.  Demi cooked all of it for Coco's party.  I thought that was overly aggressive but she pulled it off.  And she did it in advance.  We were gone for the better part of four days for Orientation, leading up to the party.  There were 3 different kinds of corn for Pete's sake.
     There was a great showing of my cousins for this party.  It was nice to see some of them and their kids, who I haven't seen a quite some time.  And really, it was my side of the family that dominated the attendance, which is very abnormal.  I can't say I was happy about that leading up.  Sure, there is going to be a joint party, which includes Coco, in NC in July.  Sure, we are the family that lived out of state.  But we asked the family to be in MA for family events 4 times in twenty odd years, with about that much time span in between half of them.  I didn't think that was too much to ask.  But what do I know?
     The important thing is that Coco was happy.  He and his friends really had a good time.  He let Caz invite quite a few friends too.  Caz and his buddies had fun too.  Coco was able to socialize with adults, entertain his young cousins and children of family friends, and he was able to party with his pals.  They were up late, always a sign of a good time.  They slept late.  And his buddies came back to help pick up.  They really are a good bunch of kids.  Coco was appreciative too.  He hugged and thanked Demi a half dozen times.  He hugged and thanked me.  I think the showering of love humbled him.  What a party!

Dear DHS

Dear DHS,

Graduation is a time for congratulations, for recognition and for giving thanks.  While we are so proud of our son, Kyle Chin, we would like to congratulate and thank all of you as well.  You all provided so much support to us, in so many ways. You may not have even realized that you helped. So we, Kyle’s parents, would like you to know that all of your efforts are appreciated.

Some of you know Kyle’s story well.  Others may not know it at all. We will try to be as brief as we can in recapping it.

Kyle began to experience bouts of pain just after starting middle school.  At first, it seemed we could attribute it to jitters of starting a new school experience.  Over time, the pain got worse and more frequent. He missed large chunks of school. We sought out medical help.  We received multiple diagnoses, which led to various courses of treatment. Nothing seemed to work. He missed more and more school.  Everything seemed to come to a head when Kyle entered DHS. We were fortunate enough to get an appointment with a specialist at Boston Children’s Hospital.  Simply put Kyle is not able to shut off messages of pain going to his brain. He is always and will always, be in some level of pain. That pain manifests in his stomach, and can be intensified by anxiety.  It is a chicken and the egg scenario, as to whether his physical ailments trigger his anxiety or vice versa. We were happy to receive a viable diagnosis and thought we were trending up. But the pain got worse.  Kyle could barely leave the house. He missed months of freshman year. As fortune would have it, in the spring, a spot opened up in a program at Providence Children’s Hospital. At this time, 3 years ago, Kyle was transitioning out of that program and back into DHS.  We were focused only on getting him back to school full time. Graduation was the furthest thing from our minds. Frankly, it didn’t seem likely to happen. College seemed to be a wild dream. Graduating from DHS on time? Improbable.

      Kyle was determined to move on with his class, with his friends.  You all helped make that possible. In the final weeks of that school year, you all worked with Kyle and with us, to help put him in a position to pass.  Sure, his grades weren’t pretty. However, he was back at school full time and he was able to move on to sophomore year. Following that, he worked his way back to honors classes.  He brought his grades up. Then, he was accepted at a few colleges, ultimately choosing to pursue History and Archaeology at the University of South Carolina.

Kyle and we owe a lot to our DHS village.  It took everyone, teachers, administrators, guidance counselors, and staff.  Whenever we contacted DHS, our first greeting was “what can we do to help?” Help came in a multitude of ways. And it came often.  Seemingly little things, like a shared inside joke from Monty Python with a teacher, or a green wristband from a Phys Ed Volleyball Championship, went a long way towards building Kyle back up.  We know your jobs are not easy. Having to tailor plans to accommodate one student, makes that job even more complex. We hope you know we understand and appreciate that. Kyle’s graduation is your achievement too.  Congratulations!

With our deepest gratitude,

Demi and me

Graduation 2019

The big day.  Finally!  Years in the making.  The unfolding was not like most.  Demi and I are so proud of Coco.

Graduation day = a time to recognize achievement, to congratulate, and to say thanks.

At this time 3 years ago, Demi and I didn't know if this was going to be possible.  Coco was just wrapping up the day program at Providence Hasbro Childrens Hospital.  After missing over 100 days of school, he was reintegrating back into DHS.  We were hoping for the best.  Each day we held our breath.  Coco dug in.  He was determined to stay on track to move to sophomore year with his buddies.  By the end of June, the boy who taught himself math by searching out YouTube videos on algebra, was able to do just that.

Look how far you've come!  DHS graduate.  Off to @uofsc in August!  Be proud of yourself son.  We are.

Thank you to his village for their love and support.  DHS was amazing.  Teachers, administrators and guidance counselors made sure he could concentrate on healing and coping, while providing online courses, individual learning plans or even a ride to school.  His incredible friends stuck by him.  You couldn't blame a teenage kid to forget someone out of sight for so long, especially as one dealt with all the challenges of first year of high school.  Not this bunch.  They were always around, always looking to include him and accepting of his limitations.  When he couldn't leave the house, they came to him. What a bunch! 

Thank you to our village - our loved ones, family and friends.  We couldn't have come through the dark times without you.  Everything you did helped.  You might not have even known you were helping, but you did.  A simple "hi", a smile or a hug goes a long way.  This day is yours too.  We love you all.✌️

DHS Prom 2019

Another year, another Prom equals another success.  I really enjoyed being on the fringe, observing Coco having a ball.  For a parent, this year's prom excelled past anything I could have hoped for.
     Coco and Demi prepped upstairs.  Coco even submitted to a test run with his hair around noon.  They mapped out a shower and dressing strategy, starting at 2:30 pm.  I got a kick out of watching them execute it.  Coco still had a wet head of hear, with most of his tuxedo on when I walked past to see Demi tucking him all in.  I am pretty sure I made a Lannister Game of Thrones reference.
     Coco finished earlier than expected.  I watched him pace around nervously before his date and his friends showed up.  The photo shoot entertained me immensely.  The pinning of the boutonnieres is like an Olympic sport.  So many traditional skills are becoming lost.  Tying a tie, folding a pocket square and pinning boutonnieres are almost a lost art.  Coco's date, Melissandre, smiled the entire time.  She possesses one of those energetic personalities, which really comes alive when a camera is around.  That's not a bad thing.  You need someone to be excited about pictures with teenagers.  She got the rest of them to loosen up and smile for all the parents taking pictures.  The parents appreciated having one spot for pictures.  Melissandre's dads were please with Coco as her date.  He is a good young man, who treats women with respect.
     Following the Zoolander photo shoot at the house, we all raced for the red carpet at the High School.  Very well attended, parking became a premium.  I dropped off Demi with the camera, so that I could find a parking space.  As it was, I barely made it in time to see Coco and Melissandre get out of their ride and walk the red carpet.  It is a great Duxbury tradition now.  A lot of folks turn out to see the kids all dolled up.  The rides are part of the attraction too.  I can't tell you how many boats bore prom goers to the carpet.  Old classic cars, Mom and Dad's luxury vehicles and even a float were in the procession.  Volunteer parents valet these things.  The kids walk the carpet, then enter the High School to a snacks and hors d'oeuvres before boarding the buses to Gillette.  How cool is that venue?
     After the Post-Prom plans were up in the air right up until the bus ride home.  Melissandre had a mandatory skating practice the next morning, so she went home.  Her friend was in the same bind, so Coco's buddy ended up going home after too.  Coco ended up going across the street at 2 am to hang with his friends.  I am so happy he did that.  This is their final run.  Their senior year, their high school careers, are coming to an end.  They have so little precious time together.  I am happy he took advantage of it.

Patriots Parade 2019

Demi texted me yesterday about what I thought about Coco going to the parade with his friends.  He hadn’t said anything to either one of us.  We both thought it was a good idea.  Demi broached it with him after school.  We thought he would go with his crew.  And Coco started planning with them.  In the end, he ended up going with his prom date and her friends.  Interesting twist.

     It didn’t dawn on me until this morning that Coco had never been on the T on his own.  I texted him a bunch of information during my morning commute.  I also urged him to leave earlier than planned.  The crowd was already heavy when I was headed into the city.  I made sure he knew how to get to me in the city too.  He did really well. He called and texted with questions after the parade, when they were trying to get on the T.  He and his friends bought the right ticket.  They got on the right train.  More importantly,  they had fun.  They had an experience that will last a lifetime.

Texas 2018

My buddy, Thatcher, had been telling me I had to come see a Texas Tech football game for years.  So since Coco was not playing a fall sport this year, I saw the opportunity to make that trip happen.  I picked the game months ago, Texas Tech at home, against Texas.  I set the date with Thatcher and now game time is finally here.
     It was a long trip on Friday.  We had to get up and leave for the airport shortly after 3 am.  That is early, even for me.  Demi was not happy but it was worth it to go see our friends.  We were really looking forward to seeing Lubbock.  This time was also exciting because their oldest son, and our youngest are in the midst of the college application process.
     Their son, Luke, had been accepted to Ole Miss, Arkansas and Texas Tech.  A couple days prior, Luke had been granted an exception to attend the TTU Business College as a Freshman.  Coco had just finished submitting the application to FSU.  We were still gearing up to apply to the South Carolina Honors College.  Auburn deferred Coco to general admission.  The boys would have a lot to talk about.
     It was cold in Lubbock.  The air temperature was 40 degrees, but with the wide open land, that wind just blows on and on.  There is nothing to bock it and it just does not stop.  It reminded me of the Loveliest Village on the Plains.  We didn't stay out long for the tailgating.  We moved quickly into the clubhouse to take advantage of the buffet.  I mean, a Texas buffet with brisket?  What's not to like?
     The game turned out to be very exciting.  We got to see the Masked Rider lead the team out of the tunnel.  The students throwing burrito wraps onto the field was interesting.  Seemed a bit of a waste but having thrown oranges at Colby, who am I to judge.  Tech came from 17 down in the 4th quarter to tie it up.  They left too much time though and Texas won it on a last second field goal.
     What a trip though!  We went to Cook's which was so cool.  It was right out of American Pickers.  The old gas and oil signs leading into and monopolizing the parking lot made for quite an entrance.  The antique signage continued inside, with both metal and neon signs.  Old restored cars were strewn outside and inside.  The food was great too.  Chicken fried steak!  Have to have it in Texas.
     The Thatchers were greats hosts.  Their home was so comfortable.  Everything is bigger in Texas and houses are no exception.  Single floor living is really appealing.  The white grape moonshine became our signature drink.  I can't wait to go back.