Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Boys Night Out - Puberty Edition

In yet another sign of how education has changed since back in the day, the ritual of Grade 5 watching The Film, is now a whole event. Not quite a family event. But a father and son night on the town, so to speak. When I was in 5th grade, the boys in neighboring classed went into one room, the girls in another, and each watch a specific 16 mm film on puberty. It was outdated of course. Not quite 1950'2 but not far after. I doubt it was in the right decade. My particular class thought we were revolutionary at the time. We petitioned to see the other sex's video. After lobbying the teacher, he sought permission from the Principal and the parents. We were allowed to split up and watch the other gender's film. I truly think we got a lot out of it, despite the uncomfortableness and giggling.
Like everything else these days, birthday, Arbor day, Truck Day (you have to be a Sox fan to appreciate that) the watching of The Film is not a full blown event. A whole night is dedicated to it. Fathers (or guardians or father figure) and sons meet up at the school, shoot some hoops, complete an ice breaker quiz to generate discussion, watch the film on puberty, have a snack, and then reconvene for question and answers. It was actually very well done.
I have to give the Principal credit, he hosted a difficult forum. The film was still out of date but at least I could relate. There was a cordless phone with a metal, telescoping antenea, a Micheal Jordan poster, acid wash jeans, and a mullet. It was produced by Disney witch caught me eye. Everything seemed to be going fine. The requisite giggling was held to a minimum. It all seemed straight forward, body odor, vioce changes, and hair growth. But then the A bomb dropped. Nocturnal emissions. That is the new lingo for wet dreams. And they called it that too. Of course the 2 questions jotted down on the note cards for the Q&A sessions were about that. The Principal handled that well too. He answered honestly. He started on a tangent but brought it back in.
I had decided early on to make a night of it. I figured that Caz and I had talked, age appropriately about reproduction and sex over the years. But on the ride to the school, I had him read a book I was given as a kid called, "Where did I come from?" I thought the book was pretty well done. I had re-read it and had Demi read it as well. It was cartoon illustrated but gave a good honest account of how babies are made.
On the way home, we talked about it all, puberty and sex. I asked Caz if he had questions. He mostly had questions about the umbilical cord and fetus. But I made sure he had his facts straight. What really got me was when I asked that he understood that just because you can do something, Caz finished my statement "doesn't mean you should." It made me feel like he got it. We talked about going to junior high next year, and how kids can pick on others in the gym. Mostly bullies tried to make themselves feel better because they are nervous or scared about what is physically changing with them. He understood.
Then we got ice cream and called it a night. I call it a success.

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