The loyalty factor in picking friends (see "Picking Friends" and "Friends 'til The End") dovetails into the next trait in picking friends, which is trust. I have told my boys that you have to trust your friends and in turn, they have to trust you. But trust, as we all know, is something you have to earn. That's a tough concept for a kid, so you have to keep reinforcing it. We talk about it a lot. Simple stuff. I tuck the oldest into bed anywhere from 7:30 to just before 8 PM. If I say good night at 7:45 and he wants to read until 8 PM, fine. Lights out at 8 PM though and not a minute more. I can here his footsteps downs stairs. It didn't take long to sink it. The first time 8:05 came and the lights were on, I went back in. I told him that tomorrow night, he had to go to be 5 mins earlier. Typically for an 8 yr old, he gave me the "I forgot" speech. That's normal. I explained that I trust him to keep his word to turn the lights out at 8 PM and it's his responsibility to remember to keep track of time. I hardly think twice now about lights out time.
One of the phrases that I hope sticks with the boys is "always keep your promises." Your word is everything. It's the only thing you really have to give. It comes up while reading a lot during story time at night. So the frequency factor is there.
But start small. Like the lights out rule. Give them a chance to achieve small victories, and let those victories pile up. You will see the results and reap the benefits.
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