The most important thing I learned from my Dad was about sacrificing for your family, your wife and children. At least a dozen times in the last few weeks I have over heard or received direct comments about what an amazing man my father is. My sister in-law, Patricia, wanted to know if it was OK if we shared my Dad as our own hero. She is hardly alone in that respect. If you ask my Dad for help, he is always there. Even if you don't ask, he is still there.
That is probably why my brother and I try to spoil him rotten for his birthday or Christmas.
It's hard to do, the man has every tool and electronic gadget known to man. Of course it is usually my brother and I that have to read the directions for these gadgets but it's a more than fair trade off.
It's easy to look back now and see all the things my father did, than when we were actually growing up. It's like trying to explain what it's like having kids to those who don't have kids. They nod their heads but until they actually have kids, they cannot truly understand or appreciate it fully. Everything my Dad did, was to be able to better provide for his family. It was nice that he got to a point where he could get some toys for himself, but that was never the point. I think he got a bigger kick out watching my brother and me us those toys, whether it was a TV or his convertible I took to the prom.
My Dad came to this country as a young kid with nothing. I'm sure that put things into a perspective while he was growing up, that I can't even fathom. When he married my mother, he made sure he was going to be able to provide for her and the kids he wanted to have. He took all kinds of jobs ranging from bouncer, to school bus driver, to police officer, and finally to auto body mechanic. Some of those he worked at the same time. And on top of those there was night school for college and classes for his US Citizenship.
No matter what my Dad had going on it was geared towards providing for the family or set aside to spend time with the family. He coached my soccer team in first grade. He didn't know the first thing about soccer but he bought a book and fielded a team, so I could play. He bought on of the first Betamax video players so his family could watch movies at home ( I think he still has it and it's probably one of the thousand ever made. It's a collector's item at this point.) He videotaped every football my brother and I ever played, eventually becoming the official team videographer for the High School. He took us camping. Once. He hates camping. But his boys wanted to go camping. This is all off the top of my head. I could keep going. On the grade scale of self sacrifice, does it rate a 10? Did he donate a kidney? No. But did he have to? No. Would he have, if he had to? Heck yes.
It every subtle way I knew (and still know) the man was there for me if I needed it. Actually even if I didn't need it or didn't know I needed it, he was there. You should know this: The man keeps a journal for every car in the house (and every car we have ever had) to track the oil changes (that he changes. But finally he's let me solo on that.), tire air pressure checks, and other random routine maintenance checks. I've asked him why. He doesn't want us breaking down on the highway somewhere, stranded. Good enough. I would never attempt to change a tire on the highway. Not because I can't. But because he told me not to do it. He says there are too many crazies out there, who don't slow down. He's afraid I'd get hit on the side of the road.
It is clear that the things my Dad treasures in life is us, his family. So that is what I treasure in my life, my wife and sons. My family comes first. Always. My friends have been forgiving enough to allow for that. I don't get out to see them as much as I would like. I find that going out for a drink after work is not a good trade for the time I miss with my sons. In that scenario I wouldn't see them that day. I only have a few precious hours at night during the work week. I'm sure they roll their eyes when I do go out, when I say, "I will meet you out after I put the kids to bed."
I probably take it a bit to the extreme. I will actually feel guilty going to Starbucks, thinking "for the price of this coffee, I could buy a pack of Yu-Gi-Oh cards for one of the boys." I know I need to take care of myself, but I choose to prioritize in this manner. And I know it all comes from my Dad. I try to verbalize how much I love and appreciate him (I don't want Mom to think I am leaving her out. I think she gets that this is for Dads and about Dads). I hope he understands all that. Just as I hope my boys understand how much they mean to me.
So I pass along to my Dads-to-be this post, hoping they take stock of the responsibilities ahead. I know you can do it. It's a lot to take in but keep striving for that balance (see previous postings where I expound on the meaning of life.)
So I sign off thus: Thank you Dad! For Everything.
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