Family Matters

Demi has designated Easter as a new annual family event. Not that it is a big Chinese holiday. Or an important holiday on her side of the family. I think it works because it isn't a big deal to either side. So no one feels like they are slighting the other side of their family to travel to MA and see us. And for my family, no one was really hosting it or looking to make it an event. It just works. Demi gets a chance to host her family and create a new family tradition.

Children will change your perspective on your family traditions. When we were dating and engaged, it didn't take a lot of effort to pack up for the weekend and travel to MA or NY to see the family. We went often. Our first Christmas together, we were living in Portland, ME. Demi's family alternated between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day for their big family gathering and meal. We left ME after work on Dec 23 and arrived on the Island around mid-night. We unwound and got to bed, let's say 1 AM. There was some wrapping of presents until about 4 AM, so it was not a sound sleep. Demi was up at 7 to start helping with the cooking. After dinner and dessert, some more visting, we left the Island at 10:30 PM on the 24th to head to MA. A driving snow storm put us into MA at 4 AM. Mom likes here present schedule, so presents were opened at 8 AM sharp. (I think this is paypack for all the early Christmas mornings in my youth). After our second Christmas dinner, we packed up and headed back to ME around 7 PM, Christmas night. I spent the 26th with my arse parked on the couch.

It still makes me tired thinking back on that. I can't and don't want to imagine trying to do that with kids. Heed my advice make your own traditions. I can thank Demi for this. She made the first comment about putting our own family first and starting tradition that worked for us. You don't want your kids waking up on Christmas morning any place else other than their own beds. And for me, that included when they were babies and would remember. Don't fall victim to the family pressures. If your family loves you they will understand and adapt. I was the first child to have kids on my side, so we were breaking ground on that front. Demi was the last to have kids on her side. We were breaking ground there too. And by breaking ground, I am talking about bucking the current traditions in place and thus wreaking havoc with the order of the universe.

Creating your own traditions, does not mean you are freezing out your family. It may feel like it but you are not. Trust me, you won't get coal in your stocking.