Reel Life

A friend of mine recently sent me some photos of the eye of Katrina as it passed over Mississippi. While the shots were amazing, it got me thinking about my sons. Katrina, 9/11, the Tsunami in Sri Lanka, are all difficult subjects to explain to children. What's appropriate to share with them? How much do you tell them? It's tough call. Quite a dilemma.

These major events are tough to explain to children. You don't want to scare them. But you don't want to lie to them either. I have found, over time, that you are the best gage of your children and what they can handle or understand. Use your best judgment.

9/11 was a no-brainer. Coco was a newborn and Caz was just 2. I kept them away from the TV. This was hard to do with my grandmother living with us. She had the news on all day. We all did. But the boys were no where near a TV. I spent a lot of time with my boys over the rest of that week. I was grateful to have the time and chance to do it. If 9/11 taught us anything it was to cherish the time we have with each other.

Caz was about 5 when the Tsunami hit Sri Lanka. There was no need to see the images of devastation on TV. But this one couldn't be kept from him. There was talk about it at school. He wanted to know what a Tsunami was and what had happened. So I told him. Not every graphic detail. I started with some basic science about what a tsunami is. Then we talked a bit about the destruction it caused. How it left people with homes. He seemed to get it. I let his questions guide the conversation. And when he ran out of questions (and for those of you with young kids, you know how long that can be) we were done.

A few days, maybe even a week later, Demi decided to bake some cookies. She asked Caz if he wanted to help. Seemingly out of nowhere, Caz asked if they could sell the cookies. When Demi inquired why he wanted to sell the cookies, Caz responded back that the money could be given to the people that lost their homes to the Tsunami. I am pretty sure that at that point, Demi got a little weepy. They made quite a few batches of cookies and divided them into tins. On the lid of each tin was a note: "My name is Caz. I am 5 1/2 years old. I learned that the Tsunami left people without food and water. I am selling cookies hoping to raise money for them. My Mom and Dad promised to match each dollar I raise. If you could make a donation, I thank you. I hope you enjoy my cookies." They went out to a few of the local business and asked if they could leave the tins and come back. All the business owners were great about it and readily complied. Caz and Demi went back to collect the tins days later. Caz counted all the money.

Coincidentally, a college friend from Sri Lanka got in touch with me. He passed on news of the devastation, but also that he and his brother had started a charitable foundation to get money back home. More importantly, it was designed to get the where it was needed and not have to pass through the layers of government in Sri Lanka that was laced with corruption. Caz's donation with our matching contribution was sent there. I explained to Caz about the foundation, which included a lot of information on how the money could help. The cost of building a new house was around $2,000. That is still a big number to a child, but it seemed like a number Caz could related to. We were very proud parents during that.

I continue to preach that kids understand more than most adults give them credit for. You have to take the time to explain things to them in way they can understand. I find that analogies are always helpful. And believe it or not, my kids know what an analogy is and try to create their own.