The Boys Are Back In Town

Well, they didn't walk to the light. Actually, we met them in Lee, MA. Demi and I drove out there and met the kids with my sister in law, Martha. Martha had Coco and Caz all week between her house on the Island (Long Island) and her camper in Ellenville. Demi referred to it as a second honeymoon. It was nice, but I wouldn't go that far. I missed the little buggers. I knew I would. Despite all Demi's big talk about being ready for a break, it was all she could do to leave them and then got peeved that the boys didn't call her. We had to call them.

Breaks are good. This was too long for me, with a big fall vacation planned. But in general, some separation here and there is a good thing. I see kids and parents in Demi's daycare all the time that are never left separate. Period. Coming to the daycare is the first time. The parents are nervous wrecks about leaving them. The child picks up on this, at any age, and plays on it. They cry. And cry. And cry. Demi tell the parent to walk upstairs and go out the back door, rather than leaving by the normal exit. She tells them to listen at the regular door outside. By the time the parent gets there, all is quiet.

One parent has to sneak out of their house even leaving the child with the grandmother, who is around regularly. I don't blame parents, especially working parents for feeling guilty. I feel guilty for only seeing the boys for such a limited amount of time during the work week. I go the gym at 5 AM, so I have all night when I get home to spend with them until bed time. But some parent over compensate and give in the kids, all the time and let them get away with way too much. It's not good for anyone. The kid gets over exaggerated boundaries and then the parent gets frustrated and upset when it's time for them to pick up a room, or leave a place quietly.

You see it all the time in Demi's daycare. The kid is fine until the end of the day when the parent picks up. Then the kid goes into Showtime. A kid won't put their shoes on. Or says, "No, I am not leaving." Or won't get off the swing. The parent doesn't want a scene, so "One more minute" or "One more push". Demi's more gracious than I am. The business day ends at 5:30. We have our own family to take care of. Our kids need our attention. But these scenes drag on and next thing you know it's 5:40...5:45...6 PM. That's cutting into our time. But I digress. My point is balance. You need to balance some alone time, as an individual, and as a couple, with time with family and kids. The kid need their space too. No one should feel guilty about that. You might. I do. But I feel better with a good balance. I think the kids benefit too, because you are in better spirits and recharged.